I wrote this on March 15th, 2020, the day when many churches and organizations closed their doors to a "normal" perhaps we will never know again. Many months later, I find it to still be true...

For some of you, it’s late. You’re in bed asleep. You will wake up & wonder what to do with kiddos while you work. You will watch the news with an odd and strange mixture of anxiety, fear, and faith. You will think about our leaders: mayors, governors, president, teachers, administrators, school superintendents, doctors, nurses, PAs, mental health professionals, and maybe your pastoral leader...and I hope that you will remember that NONE OF US HAVE EVER LED THROUGH A GLOBAL PANDEMIC BEFORE. Give everyone-but particularly your leaders-you see some grace.

Have you ever seen something so preposterous you wondered if it was real? Have you ever shaken your head because life can be stranger than fiction? My young son Tom had that experience several years ago. And it took quite a bit of convincing from parents and grandparents that the God of all creation often shows up in an "As Seen on TV" moment.

Recently, the pastors at Arborlawn wrapped up a sermon series entitled "Days of Distinction." Acknowledging the reality of the sameness in the midst of Covid-19, sermons focused on being generous with time, love, forgiveness, and money. Corona means it was a hard time for pastors to ask people to make a commitment to their church, not knowing what the economy may look like for each household in 2021.

“A scant six weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic, I discovered that maybe quarantining doesn't bring out the best in everyone. Whenever my kids are misbehaving, saying cusses or using potty humor or suggesting their Christian private school sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, I look at Joel and say, “Those are your kids. My kids pray without ceasing and sing hymns quietly.”

But what about when it is the mama who isn’t at her best? The kiddos don’t really have the option of not claiming their parents before the onset of legal adulthood.”

I am a people person. Hands down. I draw energy from building relationships and discovering connections with people. As we’ve journeyed through these odd and ever-changing days, I can say that I miss people and socialization the most. I feel like we have done ok through this time. However, my energy is definitely waning. Our time since March has been spent with 3 tight groups of people - our family, a few neighborhood families, and work colleagues.

“You should see the things my son creates with Lego. Some of the creations are unique originals, but most of them are designed sets. We have Star Wars sets, Spiderman sets, Superman sets, NASA sets. You name something a 9-year-old boy would like, he probably has been given a Lego set for it by a doting grandparent because of a birthday, Christmas Day, or Thursday.

Each set is pretty intricate. There are all sorts of bricks and pieces from little tiny ones to big flat pieces to the classic 2 x 6 brick. They all come together to make ships, or cars, or buildings. You name it, Lego can build it. You may look at the pieces before you put everything together and imagine the tiniest pieces are inconsequential compared to the large ones. But as you begin snapping pieces together, you realize that leaving out even one tiny piece throws the whole project off. It just won’t work… or at least not in the way it was meant to work.”

When my children were younger, they would often reply to a parental request with, “that’s not fair!” My wife and I would typically respond with the words, “life is not always fair.” Our goal was not to jade their opinion of the world or to cast a cloud over life itself; rather we wanted them to understand that there are things beyond our control that seem very unfair.

Today many of us might feel a sense of unfairness in life. We are dealing with Covid-19, isolation, quarantine, social distancing, politics, and limited in-person football games.

Forgiveness can feel complicated.

As an intern in Victim Services for a police department, one of my jobs was to sit with victims and help them fill out a PO (protective order). Unlike restraining order, protective orders generally means there is some type of familial or dating relationship that has turned ugly. One day, a woman came to the station and I sat with her as we began to fill out the paperwork. The Protective Order was not for an ex-husband or boyfriend, instead, she was getting a Protective Order against her son.

I bet you have experienced this before. A disagreement begins, voices are raised first with one person, and then another voice is increased in response. This process continues until the situation is out of control.

According to some scientists, our mirror neurons in our brains give us the ability to empathize with others, leading us to experience what they feel. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but if we experience their anger and our anger grows, we can have a problem. Our empathetic response can further an argument.

A few weeks ago I got an email asking people to pray for Glen Lake Camp and Retreat Center and the adjustments they’ve had to make during this pandemic. They asked us to not only pray, but to consider coming out to the camp to do a hike to the cross. We were already camping nearby on one of the weekends available, so I jumped at the chance to share some time at Glen Lake with my family.

One of my mother’s best sayings is “You be the big one.” It’s a pretty good saying and it fits many situations. No matter what (or who) I was complaining about, her response was “You be the big one.” I would counter with “But it’s not fair. . .” or “But they are a grown-up…” or “It’s their fault!” and she would say “You be the big one.”

After being at home with his parents for 5 months, our son, Keaton was so happy to move into his new apartment and finish up his last semester at Oklahoma State. Everything was getting back to normal. On Saturday Keaton spent the day with good friends. They discussed how happy they were to be back together and they even discussed the semester and what the future would hold for them. Then, they went their separate ways for the evening. Keaton would go eat dinner and then go to another friend’s house to watch the Saturday night fights. Michael would go to eat with his girlfriend and then go meet up with Keaton. Keifer would go home and end his life.

There is a great contest of wills that takes place every time the staff of Arborlawn share a meal together that has been setup buffet style. We all stand around telling each other to go first as we strive to outdo one another with displays of grace and humility. Out of respect, we always try to let Rev. Verne Fuqua go ahead of us all. That is one thing we can all agree should happen. But Verne didn’t become Verne by going first, so he never does. So, once again the standoff resumes and we wait to see who will break first. It’s madness and it has to stop. So, now as soon as Verne refuses to go first, I step up to the front of the line. Sure, it seems rude, but I have decided we need to get the ball rolling so we can all start eating before the food gets cold.

Make hay while the sun shines; strike while the iron is hot; do not count the minutes, make the minutes count… All these phrases were taught to me at an early age in regards to my athletic endeavors, my schoolwork and most importantly, my habit of procrastination. They found their place in my vernacular, but did not always stick when it came to putting them into practice.

When I was a teenager I was pretty sure that conversations about stewardship in church did not apply to me. My definition of stewardship at the time was absolutely limited to monetary offering and I had no steady income, so that meant I could not participate in turning in a “pledge.” I conceded that stewardship was something reserved for adults, so I’d get around to it when I grew up.

When my kiddos were young, I took great delight in throwing ELABORATE birthday parties and inviting everyone we knew. Fueled by Pinterest and the need to impress others, and the notion that my children were just the very best ones that God ever made, the parties were a little (okay, a LOT) over the top. One year there was a bubble themed party in which kids could travel from station to station in our backyard to different ways to make bubbles. There was a mermaid/pirate themed party, and at the end we revealed a new playscape for our kids' birthday present in the backyard. There were designer cakes from exclusive bakeries. There were entertainers including one year an AMAZING ventriloquist, and another year an exclusive puppet show we bought at a Lord's Acre Live Auction.

After we married in 2014, my wife and I chose to make Arborlawn our church home for many reasons. We had just found out we were pregnant with our first child, and so many things were new and exciting, but we knew a strong foundation in a church would guide us through our future together. Fast forward 4 years and the future unfolded in ways I could not have imagined. We have 6 years of marriage under our belt, 2 beautiful boys and I’ve found an amazing work home at Arborlawn AND been blessed with the most amazing brothers and sisters in Christ to share my family’s journey with. When we were called to be members of Arborlawn, we did not think about its past or achievements in ministry. The people, their generosity and their hospitality drew us in, as well as the future we prayed to have here.

For many years, my daily devotion would involve reading one chapter of the Hebrew Bible, one chapter of the New Testament, and a proverb. Did you know there are 31 Proverbs? That means for each day of the month you can read a proverb.

I don't have enough time to tell you the trials and tribulations of obtaining a doctorate of ministry while having two children under the age of 5, so I will sum up and say being the preacher mama to preschool aged children whilst writing a dissertation was crazy making.

In the midst of our 15-year anniversary milestone, we’ve looked back and celebrated what has been. It is important and sacred work to remember how far we have traveled, the struggles we have overcome, and the success we have enjoyed together. We remember how faithful our God has been in the midst of all that has been.

Over 28 years ago a married couple walked into the church and knew they were home. I was 6 months pregnant with our first child. Billy and I both felt strongly about raising our family in a church. Billy’s parents had both passed away and my parents didn’t live in town. We needed to begin building our village of people that would guide and nurture us along our parenting journey.

So many memories, so little time! As we celebrate Arborlawn’s 15th anniversary, those of us that experienced the unification of Westcliff and Overton Park from the beginning all have different perspectives depending on our vantage point. I’ve shared before that as a Westcliff staff member, things weren’t quite as rosy behind the scenes. Nothing scandalous or outrageous, but I remember very well the time between Overton Park’s congregational vote “yes” and Westcliff’s congregational vote scheduled several weeks later.