"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
I bet you have experienced this before. A disagreement begins, voices are raised first with one person, and then another voice is increased in response. This process continues until the situation is out of control.
According to some scientists, our mirror neurons in our brains give us the ability to empathize with others, leading us to experience what they feel. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but if we experience their anger and our anger grows, we can have a problem. Our empathetic response can further an argument.
Logically we know that tactics like raising our voice, offering evidence in support our argument, refusing to drop the issue, or following the other person from room to room, just do not solve the problem. In many cases, these tactics will actually escalate the argument.
"If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless." (James 1:26 NLT)
Here is a little tip I read that might help your life, marriage, parenting, work relationships, and friendships. When a person raises their voice toward you, lower your voice. In doing this, you exhibit strength and gentleness typically will dilute the anger and conflict. Don't become defensive, be gentle. Let your response gently disarm an otherwise dire situation.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
Written By: Jim Love